Infant in Grace

Maria Sue Chapman, adopted and youngest daughter to Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman, was killed Wednesday night in a tragic accident in the family driveway on Wednesday evening. She was LifeFlighted to Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital but for only reasons God can explain she went home to Him… not to Franklin as we all so desperately wanted.

Your prayers are needed for all in the Chapman family. This is a family who has so generously loved and given to so many. Just hours before this close knit family was celebrating the engagement of the oldest daughter Emily Chapman, and were just hours away from a graduation party marking Caleb Chapman’s completion of high school. Now, they are preparing to bury a child who blew out 5 candles on a birthday cake less than 10 days ago. These words are unthinkable to type. - Jim Houser (Manager)

(stevencurtischapman.com)

I have always been a big fan of SCC. It’s not right that this happened to him. He is a dedicated family man and a great role model for young men and women. May God help them find peace again through this terrible tragedy.

This past week I took a handful of my youth to a local youth rally. The local Baptist churches (with a few other churches I think) got together some months back to put together a youth rally. They said that they wanted to see Cordele taken over by Christianity and for the power of Christ to transform this area. Here are my thoughts and observations on the event.

When we arrived, there were probably 100 adult volunteers, all wearing a shirt that said “Staff” on the back. They all looked like they had clothes hangers stuck in their mouths (see picture above). Coaches and teachers that are usually mean to the students were walking around telling teenagers, “God Bless you!”  ”Glad to see you here!” “Will you join my religion!” (o.k. they didn’t say that but that seemed to be the point of the rally.)

When it started, there was an announcer who threw out t-shirts and raffled away an I-pod.

When the music started we were basically commanded to stand up and clap, sing, and lift up our hands. During the worship time several “staff” members were walking around telling people to get up on their feet. One member’s job was to be the hand-clapping police. She went around to make sure that everyone was clapping. If not, she stood in front of them clapping until that person joined in. Then we had the raised-hands police. This guy went around constantly lifting his hands to encourage participation. Then we had the models. There were several staff member who basically walked around holding their hands up. I guess they were trying to set an example for us to follow.

The speaker was pretty entertaining. However, I didn’t really agree with his theology. A few times he made statements like, “This could be your last chance on earth to accept Jesus.  What if you die tomorrow? There is a hell and real people go there” (paraphrased) After his sermon, while the musicians were playing a ’soft’ song, about 75 teenagers went up front to ‘accept Christ’. This really made the “staff” excited as they started jumping up and down, clapping, and singing again. Then it was over.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the adult’s desire to have a positive influence on teenagers. I’m one of the few mainline youth pastors who doesn’t have a problem working with Southern Baptist’s. There is also a chance that someone’s life may have been changed because of the rally.

However, I believe that lives are changed through relationships and not youth rallies. When someone gets excited and wants to do something for the youth in the community, they put together a youth rally. In other words, they organize an event and put it into the hands of the speaker and the band to relate to the teenagers and lead them to Christ. They ask teachers and coaches from school who are normally mean to the students to come and “show the love of Christ”. Then they hope and pray that the students will respond to the songs and guest speaker.

Two thoughts.

1.Teenagers aren’t as stupid as we think. They can see through inauthenticity very easily. They have a gift for it. If you treat them like they don’t matter outside of the church, don’t think that you can treat them differently in church and they believe you.

2. Teenagers respond to emotion. If you have a Christian gathering or for that matter a muslim, hindu, or JW gathering and the music is just right and the speaker is funny and convincing, some will respond. Sometimes it’s the drawing of the Holy Spirit and a teenager responding to that, but many times it’s a response to emotion. “This feels good. My friends went up front and I will too. I like this song. My youth pastor will be proud.”

This is not ‘witness’. This is manipulation. Jesus preached a kingdom of love and freedom. Whenever we try to manipulate teenagers to accept him, we go completely against what Christ taught.

Teenagers need Christ. I’m grateful for all of the adults who believe that and are willing to do something about it. Here’s something that can be done: Love them. Care for them. Listen to them. Show the love of Christ to them by being a caring adult.  

Picked by some to be the N.L. East champs and by a few to go to the World Series(Peter Gammons), the Braves have started the season 5-9 losing their last three. The big surprise thus far has been the Florida Marlins. With a very small payroll to work with, they are currently leading the competitive N.L. East. The Braves are next to last with their 5-9 record.

In fairness to the Braves, they have had to overcome some early season obstacles:

Mike Hampton’s injury (again…)

Tom Glavine’s injury (which rarely ever happens)

Mike Gonzo gone until mid-summer (this was a last season injury)

Rafael Soriano’s injury(our closer)

Peter Moylan’s injury(our main set-up guy)

Jordan Schafer and HGH (our future star center fielder)

It has been a tough month for the Braves. However, once we get these guys back we should be back in the hunt. We have lost nine games, but the majority of them were lost by only one run. I also don’t expect the Marlins to continue in their success. At the end, it will be a Mets, Phillies, and Braves race. Whoever stays healthy will win.  Let’s hope that we got our injuries over with early.

I have been excited for years now about the remake of the first Halloween. I know….  Youth ministers aren’t supposed to watch scary movies but Halloween is a classic and it’s one of my favorites. Several months ago it came out (back in late August) and a few friends and I went to see it. How did we like it? Well, we left about 10 minutes into the movie! The first 10 minutes of that movie were probably the most disturbing 10 minutes of my life. Keep in mind…I waited years for this movie to come out and we left. It was that bad. For some reason Rob Zombie was given the privilege to re-make the classic film. I’m my opinion he failed, being that he was re-making possibly the best classic horror movie of all time and we left 10 minutes in. (However, I recently rented the movie and watched the rest of it. After you get through the first 10 minutes it’s not as bad. I still don’t recommend it though.)

In the original, Michael Myers (the killer) was evil. Dr. Lumas (Michael’s childhood psychologist) said that looking into his eyes was “like looking into the devils eyes.” Michael’s evil is what gave the movie a sense of mystery. Why was he so mad? Where is this evil coming from? How can he not die?

Rob Zombie answers many of these questions and IMO totally destroys the feel of the movie. In the beginning Zombie spends a lot of time showing Michael’s childhood. He was raised in a very terrible environment. His stepdad verbally abused him, his mom was a prostitute, kids picked on his at school, etc. As a result, he murdered his family and went psycho. 

This raised a question for me… Is there such a thing as evil? Are all people who are classified as evil naturally evil or did their development and surroundings make them that way? When you look at the Dahmers, Myers,& Bin Laden’s, they are all products of their surroundings. This certainly doesn’t excuse them from accountability, but it does raise an interesting question. Does evil exist? Or if it does, is it caused by our surroundings? Do we create evil?

I plan to occasionally do a review of a book that I have read or am currently reading. 

I’m currently reading Hurt: inside the world of today’s teenagers. It was written by Dr. Chap Clark, professor of youth, family, and culture at Fuller seminary. In researching his book, Dr. Clark took a leave of absence from Fuller to work in a local high school as a substitute teacher. Rather than researching teenagers in a library, he wanted to get on their turf to learn about them.  

This is his thesis (paraphrased): Teenagers feel abandoned by adults. Teenagers seem so foreign to us because they create their own world. (What he calls the world beneath) They create this world because they feel abandoned.

Abandoned? With so much that we have going on for our teenagers, how can they feel abandoned? We have after school programs, sports, dances, school, playstations, computers, etc. etc. etc. How can they feel abandoned when we have so much for them?

Chap Clark argues that they feel abandoned on account of all these activities. Think about it: A teenager gets up in the morning and gets ready for school. She rushes to school so that she can finish up her homework which she couldn’t do the night before because of soccer. She gets to school and stays till 3pm. After school, her mom picks her up and takes her to soccer practice. She stays there until six. When she gets home, she takes a shower, eats, and then does her homework. Meanwhile she has the distraction of the internet, playstation, Ipod, and friends calling her. This is her normal routine.

Clark argues that one reason teens feel abandoned is because parents are allowing others to raise them. My pastor shared an alarming stat this Sunday: On average, a child spends 40 minutes a week of quality time with their parents. In the most important developmental period of their lives, teenagers spend only 40 minutes a week with the person who has the greatest influence on their growth. I leaned over and whispered to Jade, “There’s our problem.” Unfortunately, many parents are relying on the soccer coach, the teachers, the youth pastor, and everyone else to raise their child. Could it be that all of these extra-curricula activities are hurting instead of helping? Maybe this is why they feel abandoned.

I try to be family friendly in my approach to youth ministry. I try not to over-book their summers, spring breaks, and yearly calendar. I’m well aware that real Christian discipleship takes place at its maximum level within the home; within the family. A busy schedule doesn’t equal spiritual growth. An overly-active youth group doesn’t automatically equal a spiritually mature youth group. It may be that spiritual growth takes place better in the quiet. 

So for some reason I go with the women this past weekend as they tried on their dresses for Haley’s wedding. That afternoon they had to go to a wedding shower (April’s) and they were running late. Jade needed to go by Wal-mart to get April a present but they had little time. So I volunteered to get the gift while they were at the dress shop. Some of the women were saying, “I wouldn’t trust a man to buy a shower present.” But Jade had all the confidence in the world in me.

So I go into Wal-mart, get the registry list, and begin my search for a gift. I looked for several gifts that were on the list but I couldn’t find them. Finally, I found a gift. The gift that I found was a state of the art, top of the line, beautiful yellow extension cord. I figured that this would be a perfect gift to get April and her soon to be husband.  As I got back to the women and told them of my purchase, they erupted into laughter. “You did what?”  ”You bought an extension cord?” “Surely not.”  As it becomes apparent that they didn’t approve of my purchase, I argued my case.  ”It was on the list.” “They need an extension cord.” “It’s not just any extension cord. It’s  a beautiful yellow extension cord.” Then they all argued the same point: “You don’t get a woman an extension cord for HER shower.” Forgetting to read my ‘What to buy women for their shower’ book, I failed to understand their logic. I asked them, “What do you mean by HER shower? This is a shower for both of them. And after all, IT WAS ON THE LIST!” They responded: “But the guy (Joey) probably put it on the list”  Then I realized what this was all about. It doesn’t matter what Joey wanted, it only matters what she wants. 

Guys.  Get used to it.  This is a woman’s world. Think about it:

DATING:

     1. We ask her out

     2. We pay

     3. We buy the ring

     4. We put up with overprotective parents and have to get their            permission to marry.

     5. We propose

     6. We get no say so about the wedding. After all, “This is her day.”

MARRIED:

     1. We provide financially

     2. We always drive

     3. We are solely responsible for romance

     4. We still put up with overprotective parents

     5. We have to be the spiritual leaders

     6. We are always wrong

     7. We are right only when we agree with the woman.

     8. We pack

     9. We plan

    10. We carry bags

    11. We cut grass

    12. We fight 

    14. When we walk all the way to the water on the beach and realize that we forgot something, we go back and get it.

    15. When we are out eating and our food is good but our wife’s is nasty, we trade

    16. We sacrifice

So there you have it. This is a woman’s world. But I have to say, I’m thankful that they let us hang around.